FRUITCAKE RECIPE:

You'll need the following: a cup of water, a cup of
sugar, four large eggs, two cups of dried fruit, a teaspoon of
baking soda, a teaspoon of salt, a cup of brown sugar, lemon juice, nuts
and a bottle of whiskey.

Sample the whiskey to check for quality.

Take a large bowl. Check the whiskey again. To be sure it is of
the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.

Repeat.

Turn on the electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a
large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar and beat again.

Make sure the whiskey is still OK. Cry another cup.

Turn off the mixerer. Break two leggs and add the bowl
and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Mix on the turner. If the
fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers pry it loose with a
drewscriver.

Sample the whiskey to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Who cares?

Check the whiskey.

Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one
table. Spoon of sugar or something. Whatever you can find.

Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees.

Don't forget to beat off the turner. Throw the bowl
out the window, then,

checker the whiskey agin and bed to go.

* * *

HOPE EVERYBODY HAS A WONDERFUL 1997
Bye:-) Shihwai